{Gratitude} Sweet Moments

As a mother I am not perfect (as a person I am not perfect) when I started this blog I made a deal with myself to be real...to not just write the fluff but to journal my real thoughts, short comings, and struggles to give my kids (someday when I forces them to read this with me) and idea of who I was when they were little...why I did things and raised them the way I did, and also so that I didn't give the impression or illusion that my life is all roses.

One area in life that can MAGNIFY any doubts or insecurities you may have about yourself is motherhood. I swear the day I became a mom I learned a whole new level of guilt. Guilt that I wasn't doing enough or that I wasn't doing it right, or that I was doing too much...you name it, I could feel guilty about it. Add to that a child that mimics the very things you do and say and wish you didn't...geeesh! Don't get me started!

God has so lovingly freed me from the thought that I can 'ruin' my kids with my 'mistakes'. He has taught me that they are not actually MY kids but ultimately HIS kids and that He gave them to me for a reason. He knows EXACTLY what they need, and He lives in me and leads me daily in my dealings with them...when you have more than one child you quickly realize how different each child is...their needs, their strengths and weaknesses, and so having God nudge me here or there with each one is fun, exciting, and AMAZINGLY helpful! It's everything really!

Now that sounds all fine and dandy (and it is) but there are still days where I feel I just don't know what to do. Days when I am so tired that even if I did know what to do I would not follow through on it, and days when I am so stink'n mad that my kids aren't 'getting it' that I just want to put them to bed at 5pm so I can re-group and be alone for a bit....

I had one such day recently. As I sat at the table to finish up my coupon clipping, tired and frustrated with the events of the day, I felt 2 little hands touch my back..."Ugh!!! Now what do they want?!" But before I could even say a word of rebuke I feel these 2 little hands awkwardly squeezing and moving around my shoulders...giving me a massage! I turn around and discover Elijah giving me a sweet closed mouth grin with squinted eyes and he says "You're such a beautiful woman mommy...I'm just giving you a little massage"

So I burst into tears...those words he said are very familiar, he is mimicking his daddy, which is another blessing all together. And suddenly my night goes from cross-eyed coupon clipping to snuggling in the chair with my 6-year-old as if he was a 2-year-old. Enjoying the moment for everything it's worth and trying not to think about how soon it will be when he doesn't want to do that anymore...I can't even type this now without crying! Suddenly it didn't matter how ungrateful he was that day, how much he tested me or disobeyed me, I couldn't feel mad at him if I tried! All that mattered was I could feel his love for me and that made everything else sink away in the ocean of my love for him...I could not help but think of how the Lord's love is toward us. How often do we test and try and disobey? Yet all of our misdeeds are NO match for His heart of love and grace toward us...Thank You Lord for these sweet moments in the midst of the everyday that bring all the frustrations to a screeching halt and allow gratitude to fill my heart to overflowing!

Here are a few of my favorite current 'Sweet Moments':

Lily reaching in to give me a hug (This lasted only about .5 seconds but still!)

Ava singing me one of her made-up songs (songs about Jesus and God's love)

Elijah sneaking in my room in the morning to hug me
(this happens every morning!)

Lily making an absolute mess and then pointing her finger at me
and telling me all about it when I find her. 

Ava's giggle.

Elijah's robotic habit of thanking me
 ...someday it will flow naturally & from the heart!

Lily laughing hysterically at her brother and sister.

Ava telling me she loves me "All the way up to heaven and Jesus' heart"
Elijah walking in to the pizza joint like he owns the place to pay for our pizza
 ...while I watch from the car.

{Gratitude} The Thankful Tree

Well our Thankful Tree is in full swing now and YES it did end up in the bathroom where it is free from the "Paper Shredder" a.k.a. "Lily"

We still have a month until Thanksgiving so it's not too late to make your own tree!

All you do is cut a tree out of brown paper (the kind they use to wrap mail packages) and if you're not a drawer like me then just cut a stump out of brown construction paper, It's not about the looks anyway!

 The real purpose is to let your kids think on thankful things!

Elijah likes to hang his on the branch that coordinates with whatever the date is...like if it's Oct.12th then he wants to hang his leaf on the 12th branch and heaven forbid if there is already a leaf there! This has helped provide a lesson for him in being flexible, yes, he can even be thankful and have fun if his desired branch is not available, geez! he reminds me of someone! ;)

Ava has gone from drawing pictures of what she is thankful for to wanting to write it herself, so she tells me what word she wants and I write it on a piece of paper for her to copy and write on her leaf. She hangs it with such pride, which is why I leave it right where she put it...even if the stem is sticking straight up in an un-natural way, I'm starting to realize who Elijah reminds me of! ;)

Even our guests get in on the Gratitude! Cousin Cloee was thankful that she 'had a fun day with Elijah and Ava' 

Avery and I fill out leaves sometimes too, it's good for the kids to see what we're thankful for and who are we kidding, we could use a reminder to be thankful as well sometimes!

The only thing that I wish I had done in years past, but will start this year, is to keep a few of the leaves that stand out or are extra funny to hang up next year when we start our tree. I know the kids would get a kick out of some of the things they have been thankful for in the past...I remember the first year we did this Elijah was 3 and he was SO thankful for our new trash can from 'Wa-mart' because it had a lid!



{Giggles} Ode To Lily

Hi! My name is Lily and I'm a lot of fun,

but the way I like to play keeps my mommy on the run.

Why? You might ask, well let me try to explain,

You see toys are not for me, everyday objects are my game!

It makes my mommy nervous when I put hair ties in my mouth...

which are always easy to find with my big sister in the house!

So I like to splash in the toilet!...isn't it what that thing's for?!

Well mommy spoiled the fun cuz she always shuts the door.

Do you see anything wrong with this picture?! It's just my highchair tray,

But once I started sliding around mommy took the thing away!

This drawer USED to be filled with coins and keys and sunglasses galore!

But NOW look what I found when I came to play and explore!

When Elijah leaves his backpack out it's like an all-you-can-eat!

Did I forget to mention that paper's my favorite treat?

OH! She's not looking! I bet I can sneak away...

Oops, she found me, I'm sorry mommy, is this not okay?

I guess I better go try and find somewhere else to play...

It would be so much easier to crawl around if these TOYS weren't in my way!!!

Pre-Schoolers Rock!

Preschoolers Rock...I should know because I just spent the whole morning surrounded by them! Ava's class of about 12 friends took a field trip to the train park today and it was just what you would expect; running, playing, giggling, crying, running some more, snack time, train ride, more playing, train tour (followed by a brief history lesson that lasted about 15 minutes but seemed like 15 hours because it was held in a small train car full of sweaty 4-year-olds that were not allowed to sit on anything OR touch anything) lunch time, running up and down a grass hill, followed by rolling down the grass hill, and topped off with "Just 5 more minutes on the playground...okay 2 minute warning...1 more minute...alright let's get going!"

The very first thing Ava wanted to do...

"Mommy you HAVE to come see me swing, I don't even need a push anymore!"

and she was right, about the swing, but I'm sure I will still lovingly 'push' her in other areas for as long as I am needed, that's my job!

I loved watching Ava interact with her friends, she was sweet and silly, just like at home! This little guy is Alex...one of Ava's favorite friends. Some of the previously mentioned 'tears' that were shed belonged to this sweet little guy and on the car ride home Ava said "Mommy, didn't that make you sad when Alex was crying? That hurt my feelings." Spoken so sincerely from my 4-year-old's compassionate heart.

Ava made me feel like royalty! I am cherishing these times where I am completely flawless in her eyes!

At least my view of her will remain.

"That's Estrella mommy...did you know she's really strong?! ESTRELLA!!! Come here! Show my mommy how strong you are!...okay mommy, WATCH THIS!"



Oh, what the hail!

Excuse my play on words for my blog post but I just couldn't resist! Everyone in Arizona is still talking about the hail storm we had a few days ago (mostly to their home owner's insurance agents) and I must say it was one to remember...but my blog has less to do with the rain and hail and more to do with the aspect of being an 'Oh, what the heck!' kind of mom, let me explain...

One of the characteristics that I love most about my mom and want to carry into my own parenting is to realize that kids are only kids once, let them enjoy it, have fun, get messy, try new things, and don't worry so much! Now, I don't claim that my mom was perfect...I believe she was the perfect mom for me...but being a mom doesn't mean you stop being a person...and people aren't perfect! That being said there is NO perfect mom out there...if there was then she should write a book right now for everyone to follow and we will all have perfect kids and she will be a bazillionair! So, with that being said, don't feel like I think this is the way EVERYONE should parent, it is just the way I am trying to parent...and I am my kid's mom, not yours.

When the rain came in that day I saw Lily staring out the glass door at it...I could almost hear her thinking 'What is that brilliant substance falling from the sky?!' I thought to myself...'Oh, what the heck!' scooped her up and headed out into the elements (under my back patio) Elijah and Ava came following a split second later and Elijah looked at me and said (with his hands folded together under his chin like he was praying) 'Mommy can I please go out in the rain?!' and to his great surprise and disbelief I said 'of course!' his response was an excited and unsure, 'Okay, so I am going to go out there now and get wet?!' I said 'Yes,go!' and he was off. Ava was giggling uncontrollably at her baby sister discovering the rain and grabbing buckets of water to increase the fun.

Elijah rushed over and grabbed his friend 'snake' for a swim in a 'real' jungle swamp...

and before I knew it the fun was headed out front where we new there would be some great puddles...

I must say that being this kind of mom goes against the grain for me a little. I like things in their place, orderly, and I have stuff to do other than having to give my kids an extra bath and scrub the inevitable mud droplets off my carpet, BUT, seeing my kids enjoy this teaches me that dishes will always be there, but childhood will not. Saying 'no' can be easier, but these kinds of memories are FREE and PRICELESS.

*tear...OK, moving on! Avery came home from work and was right there with the kids, enjoying the weather, snapping pictures of the clouds with his phone, talking to the neighbors (who all come out in droves when there is any kind of weather to be seen) and I soaked it in; the laughter, the joy, the absolute beauty of God's creation, watching one of our neighbors purposely drive thru the puddles to drench the kids as they squealed, listening to the friendly small-town banter that Avery was sharing with another neighbor, which I am not good at but Avery is a pro, and he genuinely enjoys it. It was a special moment that I would not have experienced if I had remained clean and dry in the comfort of my home.

Look closely at that picture and you'll see it was a DOUBLE RAINBOW!!! I cannot look at the rainbow without hearing God's promise that makes my life anything worth living all...'No more condemnation'

Jesus took it all away, He cleansed me from all unrighteousness...

I once heard Pastor Brian of Vineyard Church talking about raising kids and something he said that day has remained with me ever since. I think I only had one child at that time but I am so glad for these wise words that are like 'gratitude glasses' to help me in the day to day duties of parenting...

He said that being a parent is not just about raising your kids to adulthood and then reaping the rewards of all the hard work you have done through-out the journey...no, in parenthood, in the everyday,

 the journey IS the reward!

Soooo, how does 'grace and works' work?!

We've come to the time where I get to share about what is dearest to my heart...God's Grace! It's funny because I am so in love with God and sold-out for His grace and yet I still get confused at times with how amazing this 'amazing grace' truly is!

Just yesterday I was doing some reading for a Bible Study that I am going to, which is on simplicity and traveling lightly when God's grace caries you, and I came across some Bible verses that challenged me and made me a bit uncomfortable. In particular Ephesians 2:10 which in my Bible reads:

'For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.'

Okay, so I am created in Christ Jesus TO DO good works...where is the rest and grace in that?

Now, I have been a Christian for as long as I can remember, I accepted Christ when I was just a little girl, but over the past 2 years God has SO lovingly chipped away at the religious hardness, and improper view I've had of Him. I did not realize how scared I was of not pleasing the Lord and spent so much time trying to please Him that I missed just being with Him right where I was at...NO STRINGS ATTACHED!

So the old me would have read this verse, felt guilty and uncomfortable that whatever I was 'doing for God' was not nearly enough, and I would pray, try and do something extra 'good' that day and then I would do my best to forget about it...sounds religious and upright doesn't it? However; this uneasyness that I wasn't measuring-up would remain deep inside where I did not know it would cloud my view of my loving and accepting Heavenly Father.

BUT (and I am so thankful for that but) the NEW me stopped right there and said, 'Daddy, I am confused...I know that I am saved by grace, but when I read this I am hearing that there is much I should be doing and I feel a burden, a sadness, that maybe I misunderstood your grace and, forgive me for saying, it wasn't as 'thorough' as I thought it was if I still have to do...Help me understand this'

So I went online and looked up the verse on a Bible study website because I wanted to see the original language it was written in and how it translates today (I really don't know what I am doing when I go about this, I kinda just point and click as lead and see what the Lord shows me) and the verse translation that came up online was the King James Version and it read:

'For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath ordained that we should walk in them.'

I was feeling better already...read the two verses again for yourself and you'll see the difference! It went from 'to do' to 'unto' and 'walk in them'.

So I was already feeling God was starting to show me some cool stuff and what do 'ya know I have to run and get Elijah from the bus stop...quiet time over, put on the mommy hat and let's get moving! I leave my computer a bit sad I didn't have more time but also glad that God was showing me something.

So I grab the girls and pick-up Elijah. We are on our way to the park and it starts raining...change of plans! Sounds like it's gonna be a redbox movie and pizza instead. I pull up to get my redbox (hang in there, I have a point to this story I promise!) and there is a couple that needs a car jump...ok, I don't know how to give a jump and it makes me a little uncomfortable that they are strangers and I have kids in the car  but sure...I pull around to get next to their car, tempted for just a second to drive off, and before I can even put it in park her car starts-up...cool! They are very thankful that I was willing to help and I drive away in my van., thankful that I didn't have to let those strangers drain my battery power and their car was fixed anyway, their warm smiles made me feel good.

I drive home and pull into the garage and Elijah's making a big fuss that there are 'doggies in our garage!!!' What? I have pizza in my hand I know they can smell the pepperoni...what if they attack me for it?! Turns out it is two very cute, and also VERY WET, schnouzers and so I get the phone# off their collar and somehow get them to go in my backyard...following Elijah yelling 'come on guys!' at them. He is running and playing with them in the back and I get ahold of the owner. They are picked up within 15 minutes and the owner is kind and thankful.

Ok, now can I just eat my pizza and snuggle up with my kids for a movie?! I am feeling very happy with having helped these strangers but Elijah comes in a little sad...
'What's wrong buddy?'
'Oh mommy, I just wish those dogs could have stayed longer I was having so much fun with them'
'I know you were, but you know what? I bet God saw those 2 doggies and He wanted to get them home safe so He thought 'I know who I could send them to! Elijah would love to play with them for a bit and I would love to watch Elijah have fun and smile with them...'


BAM! it hit me... I knew it was God answering my previous question. Those 2 'random' acts of kindness I had just done...they weren't me at all, God planned them, I was just living my life with Him, and when they came my way I was still just living my life in Him, warts and all (wanting to drive away from the poor stranded couple)...just 'Walking in them'.  I felt God saying that He has prepared the 'good works' in advance and the He will lead me, I just need to be with Him, not try and be around where 'good things' are happening...He loves to see my enjoyment in being used by Him in His 'good works'...but only when they are lead by Him, for they are HIS GOOD WORKS.

I couldn't wait to get back online and dig deeper into this verse after I laid the kids down, and so I did, and am so stink'n excited about what God showed me! Here it is in a nutshell...I have listed the words in this veres that stuck out to me and then their original Greek meaning (that's the language they were written in before translated to English)

unto (Epi) : Upon, on
ordained (Proetoimazo) : to prepare before
them (Autos) : Him (this can also mean 'them' but it more often means 'him')

Here is the verse again with the original meanings inserted where the words were:

'For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus upon good works, which God hath prepared before that we should walk in Him.'

So take this as you will, pray, ask Go to show you something, He doesn't love me more than you, He wants to show you His awesome truths as well! And by the way...I was also lead to read the verses leading up to this verse about 'doing' and here they are:

 v8 'For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
v9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.
v10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath ordained that we should walk in them.

What a good God! I am blown away that it is not about what I bring to the table at all, but instead about God showing his riches in grace...it is not about God saving me by grace and then the rest of my life I have to 'pay Him back'...it has been PAID IN FULL by Jesus, He cried out 'It is finished!' and now I get to love God...and serve God...and am reminded as I type of a verse that God used in my life during my 'grace awakening'

Luke 1:68
Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, because he has come and has redeemed his people."
Luke 1:74-75
to rescue us from the hand of our enemies, and enable us to serve him without fear in holiness and righteousness before him all our days.'

Whew! I could go on and on and on...but I already have! So I will close with this...it is hard for me to fathom that the person who has just put their faith in Christ is as righteous before the Lord as me...who has known Him and 'served Him' in many ways for many years (I know that sounds big-headed but it is the truth of how I feel)...and by the same token it is hard to fathom that I am as righteous before Him as Mother Theresa! In fact I am as righteous as Jesus himself before the Lord because He took my sin and gave me His righteousness! WOW WOW WOW!!! I must stop for now...Ava is waiting to bake cookies, and I will go be with her knowing that I am righteous and God loves to watch me smile and enjoy my daughter...and He is using me...right in the midst of it! AMEN!

Fall is in the air!

Soooo...It's time for Fall, which is maybe my favorite time of year! It means that the grueling summer heat is coming to an end and that the time for Christmas music is right around the corner! It also means I get to bust out my Fall decorations and drill the kids with the value of being 'Thankful'.

If you have known me for any amount of time you know that I LOVE being creative, it is one of the gifts that God has given me by His grace...I did not earn it and I have nothing to do with it...other than the fact that I get to have a blast using it!!! I love dolling stuff up and adding frills to everyday things. However, being this creative has it's pitfalls, one of which being that I can get bored quickly and so seeing the 'change' in seasons gives me a chance to spice things up around the house!

And in comes a beautiful little creature called Lily Grace...who directly opposes my desire to have a gorgeous tablescape on my coffee table that to her looks like an all-you-can-eat buffet of plastic berries and pumpkins that are perfect choking size...so out of a greater love for my sweet Lily my creativity must be limited to out-of-reach spaces. Leaving my tables sad and bare, but my daughter happy and alive!

One thing I did get to create, and this was SO much fun, was a wreath for my door. On our recent vacation to California we visited Coranado Island, it was so cute! We let the kids play at the park there and I immediately noticed the unique foliage that the tall pine trees had dropped all over the ground...I knew we had to take some of these home and my mind was racing with ideas of what I could use them for. So Avery and the kids scurried around the park grabbing as many as would fit in my backpack while I sat with Lily trying to keep her from eating the mini pine cones and huge pine needles.

Driving home from our vacation (and I didn't tell Avery this) I was nervous that the people who stop and ask you what you have in your car would ask if we had any plants...would bust me with my 'treasures' and I would not get to make my wreath! Needless to say we made it through...WHEW! and without further delay here is my wreath...

I was SO happy with the way this turned out...I will sometimes park my car outside my garage just so I can walk up to the front door and see my friend hanging there...and the best part is the only thing I had to buy was one of those plain wood wreaths from the dollar store!

Now...please don't get the idea that all my creations come out this nicely, I have stopped many projects half-way through and even shed some tears over how much time and effort I have 'wasted' on things that just didn't turn out...yes I have actually cried in frustration over crafts! I know, I know, it's sad and pretty pathetic...one time I was trying to sew something and my bobbin ran out of thread and I LOST it...I couldn't figure out that darn thing and it was late and I think I was pregnant and it was just baaaaad! Avery and I still refer to it as 'the sewing machine incident'. But I still love it!

So I wanna share one idea with you that I know ANYONE can do (so you won't have to cry and throw a fit like me) and I think everyone should do if you're into decorating for fall. It is so simple and quick and is probably my favorite decoration inside my house (my wreath doesn't count because that is outside my house.

Just buy a pack of pretty artificial leaves and some clear thread or fishing wire and hang them from your light above your kitchen table!

If you get the leaves that have wire stems just fold them into a loop to thread the clear wire through. This idea is so cheap to do (cost me $2) and it is right above your table where you get to see it all the time and the leaves spin...it's like a baby mobile for grown-ups! You could even get really adventurous and hang pine cones or other natural findings as well.

I hope you are having as much fun with Fall as I am...I am still trying to figure out a solution for where to hang our 'thankful tree' that the kids get to add a leaf to every night with something they are thankful for written on it...Lily would have WAY too much fun ripping every leaf off the wall so it just might have to end up in the bathroom...did I happen to mention that I am most thankful this year for Lily? How ironic!

Starting a Blog!

Friday, October 1, 2010

So what do you do when your husband is out of town and you are not ready to crawl into bed alone so you want to make sure you are good and tired before you do? You start a blog of course!

If this blog does nothing else than tires my brain out tonight and helps me fall asleep then it will have been a success!...I know what you're thinking...'This girl is such a baby! Just go to bed!'...and to that I would respond...'I might be a baby, but you're a doody-head so there!'

Okay, now I am laughing to myself and starting to wonder if the fact that I found that hilarious is proof that my brain is already tired and ready for bed.

Things like that...like speaking before I think, or letting my emotions get the best of me, they make me wonder if I am qualified to be a mom of three, married to an amazing man of God (and therefore entrusted with his heart), and most importantly worthy of representing Jesus to the world...and I am reminded of the reason for my blog's title...

Grace-because I need it so desperately, because it has changed my life, and because with out it the next 2 would not even exist in my world...
Gratitude-for the previously mentioned 'grace' and for everything that flows out of that central gift of God through Jesus Christ...
Giggles-because life is full of laughable moments and it feels good to laugh...even if it's at myself!

So there it is: Grace, Gratitude, and Giggles. Maybe I will inspire you with my insights and creativity or maybe I will encourage you in knowing 'If God can love and use a mess like Lucy then there is hope for me afterall!' and there is hope...and hope is such a treasure...but 'Hope' doesn't start with a 'G' so it didn't make the title...aren't you glad you glad you read this?!